方靖 The Chaos

After years there are still people keeping asking me how to learn English well. Most of them are students who have been learning English for years, but they are still not confidence enough with their own learning methods under continuous development for years. The reason they wonder is their unsatisfactory English grades and the overwhelming of the idea of cracking the exams without working hard.

I’ve been learning English for 13 years – This is quite a long time for a Chinese college student at the age of 18. And what I want to tell them after this long time of learning is that, when it comes to language study, time speaks. Although developing a smart learning style is as or even more important, the defect of nowadays English learners is not a method problem. It’s just that they are not spending enough time on this.

Years ago I wrote an essay discussing this same topic, and my point has not changed. Language learning is hard labor. And you have to hold it on.

I’ve been thinking about this topic all the way since I started learning Cantonese. A native, native Beijinger as I am, I have been undergoing all this and have the strongest feeling about it. The content of the subject, as I am to write about here, is a Beijingese speaker who has been forced to learn Cantonese in Hong Kong, among all other ethnic Chinese from China whose mother tongues are not Cantonese.

No one can deny that Cantonese, although being a member of the Chinese language family, have little in common with Mandarin, the standard and most widely used dialect of Chinese, thus learning Cantonese is more or less like a foreign language to a Northerner and some a Southerner whose mother tongue is from a region really far from Guangdong, or Canton. The official Chinese language, Mandarin or Putonghua, is a language that mingles most major dialects used in China, although based on the common pronunciation in the geographical Beijing. This makes it easy for most Chinese people who are originally brought up in a Chinese language atmosphere to learn and get used to Mandarin. But at the same time, it also makes it no need for a Beijinger to learn Mandarin specifically, as Mandarin is similar to Beijingese¹ enough for every qualified Mandarin speaker to communicate with a Beijingese speaker without any obstacles. This means that the language Beijingers² are used to is differed to a even greater extent than Mandarin, which brings especial difficulty in learning of Southern dialects, added to the already existing obstacles in learning Cantonese.

In all Hong Kong universities, as far as I am concerned, all mainland students excluding those from Guangdong³ are required to take the same course and undergo the same grading methods. For those students from southern China, especially from the provinces adjacent to Guangdong, it is really easy to learn Cantonese – some of them originally can understand most Cantonese when projected clearly without any learning, and their grammar and vocabulary are quite similar too. But for those students from northern China, it may just take years in college for them to understand the very basic Cantonese spoken at a very low speed. In this way, knowing that they will hardly ever catch up with other students in class, Northerners easily give up and pay their limited time and energy to other courses where they have equal chance to succeed. But more tragically, for some majors, say translation⁴, students never expected to be informed for the first time that fluency in Cantonese is a requirement for their further studying.

Everyone not only proclaims but also believes that their mother language is the most beautiful language in the world. Beijingers are no exception. Their pride for their mother language is even magnified when it has always been the foundation of the nationwide official language, Mandarin, for the last thousand years. Put into such a condition, many Beijingers have a strong resistance deep from their mind toward learning another dialect of Chinese.

When these major obstacles added together, it makes it really difficult for a Beijinger to learn Cantonese whole-heartedly, let alone learning it well enough to match other student in the same room. But such is always neglected by educator in Hong Kong, where they have only a population of seven million and of course the majority of them have the same mother tongue and there is no need to consider the language orientation of local students. As the education facilities become more widely available to students from all over the country, such problems should be drawn into the administrators’ minds.

Notes:

1. These is the common misunderstanding as Putonghua being the same as the Beijingese language. Actually, although Putonghua is based on the Beijingese analect, it has been modified to a considerable extent to fit for the wide majority of Chinese both in its pronunciation and vocabulary. This is also why some foreigners who are quite adept in Mandarin would still face a few language difficulties in Beijing.
2. The term “Beijinger” in this article, is mostly in referring to an aboriginal Beijinger, excluding the many immigrants to Beijing, and even some first-generation descendants of these immigrants.
3. I hate to admit that some students from Guangdong, Cantonese being their mother language, are still “wasting time” in Cantonese courses. Their aim is to gain the privilege of earning a best score in such courses without even studying, which brings inequality to most students.
4. The translation major in some Hong Kong universities refers to the translation between English and Cantonese, differed from what most mainland students expected, English and Chinese, where Chinese is only in referring to Mandarin in most Chinese people’s conception.

Today I went to the Zoo with Brinley. When going back home, I deliberately took Line 5, as I had not tried it yet although I had already been back to Beijing for 2 weeks. I expected nothing other than what Line 13 had, but it surprised me. It’s much like what we have in Hong Kong – automatic doors separating the train and the platform, signal lights that show the station where the train is, elevators for passengers with bulky items; even the different kinds of notice boards were really similar. No wonder it was said that the Line 4 was co-constructed by MTR Corporation. Still there had been even more than what they have in Hong Kong, marked are: LCD screens that shows what the current/next station is, signal lights beside every automatic doors that shows the doors are to be opened. I spared some attention to the English translation of on-board broadcasting and notice boards, and they were fine as far as I know. Overall, Subway Line 5 impressed me.

Mother told me that the DVD of “The Pursuit of Happyness” is broken. I recalled about one year ago I watched it through and found no glitch of any kind. But my parents insisted that it would stop unexpectedly while playing. I tried and found they are right. The disc is broken for some undiscovered reason; I succeed in watching it through with no defect but now it’s broken.

It may have already been a year since I recommended this video to them, but they didn’t watch it until not long ago. Sometimes, you have to grasp hard one thing to make sure that you have it. If you hold for too long, it would be no longer reachable. I think.

人类是被诅咒的。死会带来痛苦，如果不死就只能留在这个世界，找不到自己存在的意义。人们以为自己是为自己活着，但自己总有离去的那一天，之前的所以也就化作飘渺了；人们以为自己是为家庭活着，然而这样的延续不过给未来带来同样的折磨；人们以为自己是为人类活着，然而人类的延续、发展，对这个世界的改造，最后会带来什么？会有什么意义？人类的火种如此延续，不知道前面会有什么，宇宙的毁灭是否在那里，那么最后又还能留下什么。没有人知道。

那么我为什么选择活着？仅仅是想远离死亡的痛苦？记得高达SEED Destiny最后一话雷射杀议长时说的那句话，杀了他（基拉）就没有明天。活着，是为了看到明天。你已然在此，别无选择。一个人的明天只有几十年，人类的明天却是无尽的。为什么说是诅咒的？如果我不曾到此，这个明天本是对我无意义的。然而现在不同了，我要么早早面对死亡，要么等等看看未来。死后的时间对我是无意义的，所以也不必节约现在时日。慢慢等吧。

谈到Destiny计划，总觉得有点像计划经济。每个人的未来都摆在这里了，我们也可以安然离去了吧。

桌面上的绫波丽让我想起了那个世界。原来每个世界观中都会有这样一种设定，人类就是在这样两种境遇中徘徊――注定的命运与摇摆的前路。不确定性原理打消了一些人对宿命的恐惧，但真的是永恒的吗？总觉得人类的行为也是受过去所支配的吧。如果是那样也就更没有什么可担心了。

觉得我的爱情观是有点怪，在时间的规划上是那么的规律。不知道爱情在我心中到底是个什么地位。去浸大一部分原因也是女生比较多吧。或许以前我不太这么看这个问题，但现在不一样了，那么多朋友都已经过去了。抑或科学的态度也在其中起了不小的作用——是啊，那些愚蠢的礼教又算些什么。我从小就在抗争，无论对象是什么。

真的不好，那么早就知道了那么多，这么多没用的东西。管他个世界是个什么世界。活下去就要相信。相信这个世界，相信这个时空，相信你周围的每个人——家声先生教诲要对旁人充满信任，是不是也是这个意思呢？或许这是植根在儒家思想里的什么东西吧，中国文人的准则。哲学早晚会干掉这个世界。

不知道我身处何地，不知道今昔是何年。糊糊涂涂的，身边每个人都比我更糊涂。活着，为了不打破他们的梦。有人说宗教是由于人们畏惧死亡而存在，信仰指点了永生的秘密。我觉得，对我来说，宗教就是纯粹地为了让我自己能再多相信点什么——我总是怀疑的，对所有我看到的一切。我只相信源自我自己脑中的东西，没有任何外物的干扰。也可能这是不可能的，谁知道呢。记得高二讲认识论，訾指着投影上归纳的人脑认识外物的流程图说，这些也都是由我们所拥有的思维模式构造的。也许必须跳出这种思维模式，我们看到的认识论才是有意义的吧。那样还是人类能做到的么？也许人类所创造的东西能做到。也许这些都什么都不是。

又想到Mr. Fairhurst说他曾见到上帝。什么情形下呢？不得而知了。真后悔当年没有和他保持联系，现在已经联系不上了。有的宗教仪式是以做爱为主体的，古人以为人在濒临死亡或是做爱的时候能离上帝更近一些，好多人感觉到上帝也都是在这样的时刻。我还是处男，不知所以。感受到的上帝是什么样的呢？他在这个世上（或者不属于这个宇宙）是干什么的呢？也许见过的人也描述不出来吧。如果上帝造就了这个世界，他会想办法让高等智慧的生物也无法描述他吗？就像上帝让人类说不同的语言，这样就无法造就通向天堂的高塔了。这个故事有点荒唐。但我想圣经上写过的东西应该不仅仅是它字面的意思吧，就像我现在写东西也有点会这样。如果是我所设想的前种情况，那么还是很容易解释的。只要在这个世界上无法用任何物质造就出能和上帝类比的东西就好了。

本来想再顺便谈谈影响我世界观的几个转折，但好像已经写很多了，以后在写吧。到时会有更为凝练的思维。桌面上还是那个眼神深邃的绫波丽，活在死海文书划定的世界中的她想传达些什么呢？

刚刚随便扫了一眼首段，发现很多话都非常容易让人误解…不过没关系了，诗无达诂，见仁见智吧。世界需要混沌。

Only God can judge me. Peace.

Rain, the Best Part of Life, Ablutions for the Soul

These days I’ve been looking for a better edition of the Bible to read. Actually I have bought a King James Version long ago, but as it is full of 17-century words and grammar, it’s too hard for me to understand clear enough.

I’ve searched the web and asked friends regarding to the choice of Bible, and got many helpful aids. Finally I found these versions are better fit for a foreign believer.

First of all, there is the best selling of all, the New International Version. It was translated in 1984, uses accurate modern English language, and is smooth reading. It attempts to balance between word-for-word and thought-for-thought, and is well received by believer of different branch of the Christian religion.

Secondly there’s the New Living Translation, of which the 1^st edition was published in 1996 while the 2^nd is in 2004. The language used in it is very easily understood, and it is thought-for-thought, so you don’t need to spend too much time guessing what is the original meaning of the verses. 90 translators took part in the translation of this book.

The Holman Christian Standard Version is a good choice too. Just released in 2004, it uses up-to-date language and the translation is accurate, and it balances between word-for-word and thought-for-thought. Equally 90 translators were involved.

The CEV, abbreviated from Contemporary English Version, uses clear, simple language that a child can understand, but with mature style that adult people can appreciate. Apparently it is thought-for-thought. I looked through a couple of verses and found it does use really simple language.

I finally decided to buy a NIV. The most important reason for it is that I’m still a toddler in religion, and it’d be better for me to choose one that is widely received thus I will not be led to an aberration. And as the language is contemporary, it won’t take much time in understanding the basic meaning of the verses and as it is well selling, it is easy to find in stores.

I found a paperback version of it in Zhongguancun Book Building, which is a really compact book in which the letters are printed tiny and different sentences are following each other. I’m not satisfied with it so I decided to look for a better version.

Thanks to Wu Qiuyu for here knowledge-based suggestions and other friends and those many who involved online.

I’ve just finished the movie the Pursuit of Happyness, with a misspelled “y” in “Happyness”, which represented the story of Chris Gardner in the past, whose real life story is what this movie is based upon. Will Smith is an actor so accomplished to present a modern life story, and I bought this DVD partly because it stars Will as well as I came across the story on a magazine.

“You got a dream and you gotta get it.” A saying long heard but spurring as always. I don’t know what would I do if I were in the situation of Chris back then, and he set an example. I was not aware of the fact that much that there are numerous people starving and living on the streets even in the wealthiest nation in the world. People amass in front of the refuge to get a cell to sleep and secure. And as the room is pretty much limited, many must go elsewhere to shelter, sometimes in the restroom of a subway station. I might hardly have imagined life like that. But after watching the movie, I questioned myself: What my life would be like if a live and work abroad?

First generation immigrants’ life is in most cases difficult. Father failed finally to leave, and I will still pursue it, despite the harshness of life I may face.

The PURSUIT of happiness, in which the “pursuit” could imply that real happiness would never come. What a funny trick of life, but, who knows. Albeit you might fall after you fight, you must die if you stay put. That’s how the Almighty get the society to function: the weak must make way for the powerful.

The future I know not. Nobody does. Make a wish and go get prepared.